Quotes Page

"The only way you are getting this chair is by sitting on my face."
"My self control left me last week. I stopped going to the gym, wet my pants more than once, and my inbox swelled to one hundred and fifty messages."
"Maax... Maax... are you on craack? Not everything can be solved with a haash table!"
"I'm just really glad `Komm in mein Boot` doesn't actually mean `Come in my boot`."
Q: "Game of chess?"
A: "Suck it!"
"How could this [Y2K Bug] be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft?"
-- Al Gore
Dorbin: "Hell, I wish I was Jewish."
Miller: "Damn, I wish I was Dorbin."
<arno> you know you have too many mp3's when you start snarfing zamfir tunes.
I'm not a male, but I play one on IRC.
<washort> apt, does Emacs have Buddha nature?
<apt> I don't see why not. It's got bloody well everything else.
"I invented the term "Object-Oriented", and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind."
-- Alan Kay
"In a 100 years C++ will be remembered as one of humanity's biggest mistakes."
-- Miguel de Icaza, private communication
"Within C++, there is a much smaller and cleaner language struggling to get out"
-- Stroustrup, Bjarne, _The Design and Evolution of C++_,
-- Addison-Wesley 1994, p. 207
<spacepig> I tried to screw a geek girl once
<spacepig> all I got was "404 Penis not found."
"Java is the most distressing thing to happen to computing since MS-DOS."
-- Alan Kay
Do you know how to compute the escaping variable records of functions, little kitty?
<wli> jkh_: Been to a hash bar yet?
<jkh_> wli: I'm *in* a hashbar
*** Maes has changed the topic on channel #unix to <dagbrown> Wow, you just banned Gene Spafford.
"Oh, how precious! It's time for buzzword bingo again."
-- Tom Christiansen
"Memory is like an orgasm.... it's better when you don't have to fake it"
-- Seymour Cray
*** Signoff: washort (When C++ is your hammer, everything looks like a thumb.)
*pdu-* write irc in Erlang and deploy it on ATM switches
Q: What do you get when you cross a continuation with a monad?
A: A gonad.
-- Paul Hudak, on comp.lang.functional
"AIX is Unix from the universe where Spock had a beard."
-- Unknown
<craving> Weak coffee is only fit for lemmas.
<brouwer:#math> i wonder if 'proceed via transfinite anything' would have been OK on my set theory final.
<Linslut> does IRIX/SOLARIS come with gnome? no? point proved, only linux is ready for enterprise computing
<brouwer:#math> hm. rudin is down to $89 new. from the $101 insanity from the summer
<bourbaki:#math> barnes and noble online had it for 50 over the summer
<brouwer:#math> if it goes into triple digits again, i am burning my autographed poster of walter rudin
<_Zipleen> is y2k bug compatible with win95 ??
<deviant-> wli: nah. there is clean, readable perl.
<wli-home> deviant-: Is that like the Invisible Pink Unicorn?
<deviant-> wli: yes, but visible, white, and with no horn.
<wli-home> So there is clean, readable perl, but it's still hard to read, feels dirty, and looks more like another programming language?
<coolG> what's the technical name for an angel whose measurement is greater than 180 degrees?
<Wo^tW> that would be an *arch* angel
I am not a Church numeral; I am a free variable!
-- The Scheme Underground
<Jon_I> 'the Baire category theorem has no connection with category theory'
<Wo^tW> nonsense. *everything* is connected to category theory.
<coolG> how'd the exams go
<coolG> ?
<osserman> They went well
<coolG> excellent:) Do you know how you scored yet?
<osserman> They're pass/conditional pass/fail. I passed :-)
<coolG> ahh:)
<coolG> what happens if you fail?
<osserman> I dunno
<brouwer> the options are pass, conditional pass, and ritual suicide.
<brouwer> there is not a single cell of mold on my bathroom tiles that is not in the daily habit of proving harder results than the ones you are asking me.
"C was a good language when the PDP-11 was a good computer... the task of good programmers everywhere is to get rid of C, or, more precisely, the C mindset and the gravely mistaken notion that C is somehow 'inherently efficient'."
-- Erik Naggum, USENET posting
"... I've seen Sun monitors on fire off the side of the multimedia lab. I've seen NTU lights glitter in the dark near the Mail Gate. All these things will be lost in time, like the root partition last week. Time to die...".
-- Peter Gutmann in the scary.devil.monastery
<pan2:#math> when i was a kid i behaved like a polynomial
<j0][nD33R> Excel/Spreadsheet Q: What is the formula for finding out the time passed between two dates and or two times in the same day?
<MatroiDN> excel/spreadsheet? Hmm, this is math? Is there a GTM on excel or maybe an article in annals about spreadsheets or maybe there's a link from wolfram to doing your own computer work, eh?
<danprime> jeeem, haven't you seen "Introduction to Algebraic Excel"?
<danprime:#math> or "Spreasheet Space Embeddings in 2-Manifolds"
<brouwer> i got my phd in spreadsheet theory
<brouwer:#math> i did my thesis on the spreadsheet conjecture
<nrut> how does one decide if something is undecidable?
<Galois> carefully
<Mr_You> this himem.sys ain't loading
<jontow> mr_you; hymen.sys, damnit, you misspelled it, thats why it isn't working.
"The answer to most questions beginning 'Why don't they...' is usually 'Money.'"
-- Robert Heinlein
"I've noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS. "
-- Larry DeLuca.
*** bourbaki has changed the topic on channel #math to <Galois> xx0 is a freshman course. xx9 is death.
*** monochrom has changed the topic on channel #math to <wli> irc.stanford.edu is desynched... someone call Knuth.
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> i like the mentality that engineers and mathematicians are on the same math level. the only difference is that engineers can deal with "real world situations" don't you know.
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> a mathematician is only concerned with spherical cows and comical situations wherein the other disciplines respond and he says "a solution exists" and falls back to sleep.
<coolG:#math> there is at least one prime between 31337 and 2*31337
<xk> Following the recent announcements that SuSE and TurboLinux will be releaseing Linux for the IBM S/390 and RedHat's release for the Itanium,
<xk> Slackware have announced a release for the Commodore 64.
As seen on slashdot
<bem> washort: furrymuck is a place to have netsex as an animal.
<deviant-> For some reason it has always seemed to me that the term software
<deviant-> engineering contains some very optimistic assumptions about the
<deviant-> nature of reality.
<deviant-> ada: note that it takes them _half an hour_ to realize that i'm coming from redhat.com,
Plaid Pantry cashier: Aren't you hot? I mean, in all that black and leather and all?
Me: Wouldn't you like to know.
<zhixel> It's like hentai tentacle rape, except *I'M* the nubile young schoolgirl.
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> #math is like the mens restroom in the gayest club in SF
<Psycho_pr> wtf is maple ?
<mows> Psycho_pr: its a type of tree, common in canada. By burning its leaves and watching the smoke one can determine solutions to most linear systems.
<led_> my girlfriend billed her $15,000 penile implant to my insurance company
<led_> is nair faster than a pentium?
<landen:#math> IAmEric for my thesis I showed that "caloric" and the "ether" were not part of a unified theory of "phlogiston".
*** Topic for #unix: <wli> 3 cigarettes from now, I suppose I have to put pants on
*** The topic was set by stany 104 sec ago
<mr_bill> #99:C0) JoeBot says, "I want to sex your monkey."
<mr_bill> #9:C0) rattus illegitimus rex says, "There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus."
<wli> "That information is strictly on a need-to-know basis, and I did *NOT* need to know."
<mr_bill> ahaha, fun from austin's local chat system.
<turtlez> bill, what the hell are you doing in there? you sound like yer blowing a llama
*** deviant- has changed the topic on channel #unix to <wli> I guess I'm one, too. <turtlez> a sheep?
* mr_bill takes over the world with his VAXstation 4000
<dedekind:#compsci> if c++ and c and java and the like are related to english, then perl is like the Chinese of programming languages
<washort:#lisp> "A wise Lisp hacker once told me: 'Don't quote people, it suggests they lack value.'"
<brian2> heh, the justice department's recommendations for microsoft's two companites, post-split
<brian2> MICROS~1, MICROS~2
<Karl> Sooo, is this where I can ask a question regarding Debian 2.1?
<xk> Karl: Try #redhat
*** stany has changed the topic on channel #unix to <is> WHERE CAN I FIND BASH DRIVER FOR MY LINUX 6.2?????????????
<cmc:#bsdcode> cyNick: TCL is like a shell without the prompt, but Perl is sort of like pouring chocolate on yourself and sleeping in the woods.
<wli:#bsdcode> cmc: Those weren't trees, those were anthills.
<MrRod> That reminds me of a guy who asked me for late-night help with on multi-variable calculus exam the next morning. To get an idea of where he was at I asked him what "integration" ment. He said, "It makes the power bigger". Then I asked what "derivitive" ment. He said "it makes the power smaller". I realized he had been in deep shit for a long time so just went to bed.
<pessoa:#lisp> programming high-level stuff in C is against god and nature
Q: Say, what time is it?
A: Submissive.
<monochrom:#math> I dislike books without proofs either.
<monochrom:#math> and courses without proofs, for that matter.
#math> monochrom: I know what you mean. I read, "Girl, Interrupted" and I thought to myself all the while, "Where are the proofs?"
* -> #unix: wli can't believe he just did the Dianora to a Danzig song.
<zb^3:#bsdcode> Set of deamon ears: .50c
<zb^3:#bsdcode> Conference registration: 650$
<zb^3:#bsdcode> Bar bill: 120$
<zb^3:#bsdcode> Look on Honeyman's face when he heard about accept filters: priceless
#unix> If I want to see IBM patenting a dildo, I'll look at it through an SSL-tunnel.
<fscklogic:#unix> maybe the are gonna unveil new devices for the next generation of cybersex
<mr_bill:#unix> SSL? Secure Sodomy Layer?
<madbomber:#unix> usually when chix are in bed with me they are screaming 'is that all you got?!'
<madbomber:#unix> woops wrong #
<lispbliss> "Clean Genitals are Happy Genitals, and Other Things they don't tell frosh"
*** ghandi has left channel #gnutella
"In my eyes this is not a technical shortcoming of the language (or compiler), but rather a psychological inadequacy of human beings."
-- Markus Mottl, OCaml hacker, replying with aplomb to a comp.lang.functional post suggesting that Hindley-Milner type inference was was sometimes hard for first year students to comprehend.
"If you have a procedure with ten parameters, you probably missed some."
-- Alan J. Perlis
"It is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead."
-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
"If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?"
-- Seymour Cray
"LOGO is not a language. It's a way to simulate 'skid marks' made by turtles with serious bowel control problems."
-- unknown
"... the most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language."
-- D. E. Knuth, 1967
"I'm sure that nobody here would dream of misusing the Arpanet. It's as unthinkable as fornication, or smoking pot."
-- Richard M. Stallman
"Ooooh. An ed script. Break out your mood rings and fondue pots, we're gonna have a tupperware party."
-- Branden Robinson, on the debian-devel mailing list
<kkenn:#bsdcode> valinux sounds like some kind of petroleum-based lubricant
"Microsoft shouldn't be broken up. It should be shut down."
-- Security expert Bruce Schneier on the ILOVEYOU virus.
"A sufficiently advanced regular expression is indistinguishable from magic."
-- unknown
*** TFreak (tfreak@ohmygodimgonna.com) has joined channel #BSDCode
"Doubtless every reader has heard something of the ingenious theory of monads --- miniature replicas of the universe out of which everything in the universe is composed, as a sort of one in all, all in one --- by which Leibniz explained everything (except the monads) in this world and the next."
-- E.T.Bell in "Men of Mathematics", pg. 128.
"One thing I've noticed with C/C++ programmers, particularly (which is, again, the pool from which most C# programmers will be drawn), is that many of them are convinced that they can handle dangerous techniques which experience shows they can't handle. They say things such as, 'I like doing my own memory management, because it gives me more control,' but their code continually suffers from memory leaks and other pointer-related problems that show quite clearly that they are not to be trusted with these things that give them 'more control'. This, in my view, is just one more reason why 'unsafe' features should not be built into mass-market languages like C#."
-- Craig Dickson, on the Haskell mailing list
"It pays in England to be a revolutionary and a bible-smacker most of one's life and then come round."
-- Lord Alfred Douglas
<demoncrat:#lisp> ``Free-masonry on the net? And this is a secret society?''
<emu:#lisp> next we'll have openmasonry and netmasonry
<demoncrat:#lisp> proprietary masonry
<emu:#lisp> masonry/os and 386masonry
<emu:#lisp> and of course - 4.4masonry lite
<emu:#lisp> freed from egyptian licensing issues
"I want to exit this world exactly the same way that I came in to it... naked, screaming and bloody..."
-- unknown
Simon Marlow: Incidentally, has anyone seen any compiler writers recently? Back When I Was A Lad (ok, I just turned 30 :) the way to get programming street cred was to write a compiler. Nowadays I guess you've only got to write a Word virus.
Manuel Chakravarty: Yeah, all this point-and-drool stuff makes people soft!
From Sue D. Nymme [feelin' inadequate], to rant:
Saying Win2K is "more stable" than NT is like saying Norman Bates is "more stable" than Freddy Kruger.
<Wazm:#unix> it was once said that a 1000 monkeys typing on a keyboard could produce useful programs
<Wazm:#unix> perl is the result of this experiment
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> yea though i walk through the valley of the physicist and the computer scientist, i will fear no evil, for thou art with me. thy ban and thy .kick comfort me. though preparest a permban in the presence of my enemies. thou anointest the troll with kicks. the banlist runneth over.
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> surely theorems and the case p=2 of my thesis shall follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in the house of evariste forever.
<Aille> my computers were louder than the vibrator
<laz:#anime> i can imagine what the headlines would have been: Teen loses his penis in freak browser accident, Microsoft blamed as usual.
<Yytrium:#gnutella> we think memory hogs are going to be the next Killer App
*** DCC SEND:/home/wli/mp3/Revolting_Cocks/Beers,_Steers,_and_Queers.mp3 [6657kb] with #unix completed in 3035.54 sec (2.193 kb/sec)
A mathematician is a system for turning coffee into theorems.
-- Paul Erdös
A comathematician is a system for turning theorems into coffee.
-- Tim Poston
"I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb. Thank you."
-- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
<brouwer:#math> words that sound the same but are spelled differently are called homophobes
#bsdcode> jhicks: A Sun marketroid is a system for turning coffee into programming languages. =)
<PetRock:#unix> why do my lame friends use netscape news?
<terrapen:#unix> i see OS X becoming a potential competitor to win2k server
<abelits:#unix> I see OSX becoming a potential competitor to a large doorstop
<Polytope:#math> not that I actually believe any of that. differential equations are against my religion
<nbm:#bsdcode> :map *t iMy MUA seems to have trimmed your technical argument, can you resent it?<esc>
*** mr_bill has changed the topic on channel #unix to If USENET is anarchy, IRC is a paranoid schizophrenic after 6 days on speed.
<mows:#mathdepravity> theres a reason you cant find proofs of that in most books, once you've done one you have to spend a week in counseling telling yourself you still want to do math
"It is probably illuminating to go a little further back: to the Middle Ages. One of its characteristics was that 'reasoning by analogy' was rampant; another characteristic was almost total intellectual stagnation, and we now see why the two go together."
-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
#mathdepravity> Is it just me or is sci.math a giant latrine for every lame thought excreted by some dorfwad/crackpot/nitwit/whatever that they are pretentious enough to call mathematical?
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> wli: well, yes, but you can extend your results to far greater generality
#mathdepravity> heh
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> by replacing 'sci.math' with 'usenet and irc and 90% of xxx.lanl.gov preprint archive'
<Riemann> nope, a soph
<[dragon]> hm.. ever here of anyone transferring to your school?
<Riemann> actually, three of my best friends are transfers
<[dragon]> from where?
<Riemann> umm, smith college, suny binghamton, and u of washington
<[dragon]> gotta be perfect though I bet?
<brouwer> perfect and nowhere dense
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> in analysis someone developed a theory that he had been taught mathematics by mountain goats in the andes
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> and sent to berkeley when they had reached the limit of what they knew how to teach
"You can lead a horse's ass to knowledge, but you can't make him think"
-- Bob Silverman
<dagbrown> Hey, I go on about my ex a lot, but she was (a) decorative and (b) barking mad.
*** Cephas has changed the topic on channel #unix to I'd have to cut my pinky nails for that sort of thing.
<Teratogen:#math> Frattini had an argument with his wife
"I'll not listen to reason. Reason always means what someone else has got a say."
-- Elizabeth Gaskell
-b Disables the INTERCAL-72 random-bug feature.
*** SoberSta has changed the topic on channel #unix to I only go for truckstop girls. HEY WLI, LETS GO FUCK
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whenever you say something to them, they translate it into their own language, and at once it is something entirely different.
-- Goethe
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> i'm writing a paper, it's called Math is Gay
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> it will appear in J. Gay Mathematics in 2001
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> it is 10 pages of irc logs, 10 pages of finitely additive measure theory, with lots of .eps porn extras
<duality:#mathdepravity> * moron (moron@blah.math.uwm.edu) has joined #math
*** gungadin has changed the topic on channel #unix to <warewolf> once again wli misses out on 'goat hair and sheep testes' fetish night.
Q: "I heard if you play the NT-CD backwards, you get a satanic message."
A: "That's nothing, if you play it forward, it installs NT"
-- as seen in a .signature on the debian-devel mailing list.
`...It was argued that inoculation of the kind employed by Jenner would produce a cow-like face; that those who had been vaccinated (the word 'vaccinate' is derived from the Latin vacca, a cow) would grow hairy and cough like cows. ...one doctor stated: 'Smallpox is a visitation from God; but the cowpox is produced by presumptuous man; the former was what Heaven ordained, the latter is, perhaps, a daring violation of our holy religion.'
-- Butler, R. R. Scientific Discovery. London, English
-- Universities Press, Ltd., 1947. p. 100.
"Note that fires are not restricted to dormitories. Indeed, fire can occur in off-campus residences as well."
-- Brown University Fire Safety Guide
"What influenced me to atheism was reading the Bible cover to cover.
Twice."
-- J. Michael Straczynski
"As a result of increasing attention from the media, Fucking has become more and more well-known throughout the world."
-- http://www.fucking.at/
"The software industry that Microsoft has been the role model for is built on the premise that customers are not to be trusted with the technology that they are building their organizations on."
-- Bob Young
<_Anarchy_> vax page tables or wacky
"Wow.. I've never seen a pyramid advert in Cyrillic before. Apparently, civilisation has come to Russia after all.." -- Dima Barsky on the debian-devel mailing list
"... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed."
-- Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition
-- found in the .sig of Rob Riggs, rriggs@tesser.com
"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."
-- E. W. Dijkstra
The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.
-- George Washington, 1796
"The less you know about computers the more you want MicroSoft!"
-- 1996 Microsoft ad campaign
* groggy-P:#BSDcode pours flea powder over mutt.
"Memory is like gasoline. You use it up when you are running. Of course you get it all back when you reboot..."
-- Actual explanation obtained from the Micro$oft help desk.
"First they take away our guns, then they take our right to wear pretty fashions."
-- Don Dellmann on alt.fashion.crossdressing
"I love the word 'faggot', because it describes MY KIND OF GUY."
-- Margaret Cho
*prumpf* cyber doesn't count, especially when you're the female part ;)
* wli boots his desk and wonders why his toe hurts. =)
<dagbrown> Naw, you run Linux on the computer on the desk.
<dagbrown> You run NetBSD on the desk itself.
<osserman:#math> How appropriate: *** filth is now known as bush2OOO
<wankel> documenting perl seems like putting a nice paint job on a shovel
"If I had been brought up in a different time [...] perhaps I'd be totally comfortable in ML and would find C unsafe, a little dangerous, not very expressive."
-- Brian Kernighan
"And who knows, if you try it, maybe you find out that you like SM(L)? ;)"
-- Markus Mottl on comp.lang.functional
"Welcome to the United Police State Of America."
-- Alan Cox
*** XDice has changed the topic on channel #unix to In Latin, IRIX means "owned"
"And I'm right. I'm always right, but in this case I'm just a bit more right than I usually am."
-- Linus Torvalds, Aug 27, 2000 - linux-kernel mailing list
* tarzeau:#debian uses Lesbian GNU/Linux
"The greatest happiness is to type check your enemies, to deny them a principal typing, to rob them of their RAM, to see those dear to them bathed in exceptions, to clasp to your bosom their CPU's and disks."
-- Genghis Khan (unconfirmed)
-- modified .sig of thomasl@bluetail.com from comp.lang.functional
<zedboy:#debian> washort "A given program in PERL is like a turd. you can see it. smell it. touch it. yuck! it's definitely a turd. it's compact. it's smelly. it's brown. a turd, thru and thru"
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens.
[Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.]
-- Friedrich von Schiller
-- Die Jungfrau von Orleans
<Jager> the U.S. has another king george, finally, after all these years
The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected.
-- The Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition, June 1972
"She went down on him like an Internet stock"
-- Bill Maher
#mathdepravity> ergh, Linear Algebra Awareness Survey, question #1:
#mathdepravity> (1) When you look at the world, do you see the matrix, or just its eigenvalues?
*** wli has changed the topic on channel #chess to Judit smears Smirin, is dubbed "Caissa incarnate". Who wants to marry a GrandMaster?
*** stany has changed the topic on channel #unix to <wli`> You can tell where I passed out drunk from the panties and the condom wrappers.
<riel> zaitcev: ALL YOUR BSD ARE BELONG TO US
The Algol compiler used at Case Institute of Technology, after finding 25 errors in the source (e.g., like you spelled BEGIN as BEGNI), would print: "At this point, we suggest you try re-reading the manual."
-- .sig of Ken McMonigal on alt.sys.pdp10
*** Mode change "+o linus_" on channel #bsdcode by BSDBoy
10:16:40 (57.59 KB/s) - `tops10_703.dsk.gz' saved [45212318/45212318]
*** sub has changed the topic on channel #bsdcode to An interrupt happens, and the OS explodes. The usual. (wli)
<kern_proc> yes, mistress
"Old Programmers never die, They just jrst to a new address"
-- unknown
<sisko:#bsdcode> reminds me of a Sun support call once <sisko:#bsdcode> the solution was "Don't pound the mouse like a wild monkey."
Fixed regression 74169: image animation can't be turned off in libpr0n (regresses editor and animation pref, and blocks a couple of other bugs). Still trying to get this reviewed.
<tm2:#linux> "Why did the IBM marketing person cross the street?"
"To spraypaint hearts, peace signs, and penguins on the other sidewalk"
<viro:#kernel> hpa: I'm way fucking past the stage when "Wow" was a normal reaction... People are physically unable to work with strings.
<+@isis> Kernel work is so amazingly Byzantine and depthless that once you think you know quite a lot, you suddenly realize you've barely scratched the surface.
<+@isis> You get a glimpse of more esoteric algorithms and abstractions and your world comes crumbling down.
<nyet:#unix> it's so much easier when you're just at a party, and you go to the bathroom, and the guy just follows you.
*** bsdimp_ (imp@marvin.timing.com) has joined channel #bsdcode
<nyet:#unix> then you know he's a peesex pervert and can avoid him
<boren:#linux> I thought I'de seen it all, now a web site with office hours
*** warewolf has changed the topic on channel #unix to <Matt> deviant-, the MV3300 I have in the kitchen is QBus
<pepe:#debian> why I can't be happy hacking perl with a gay pal
*** softweyr has changed the topic on channel #bsdcode to wli uses Lesbian GNU/BSD.
*** stany has changed the topic on channel #unix to when i get blowjobs I dont even need to put it up on the web
*** zoratu has changed the topic on channel #unix to <gnep> You know if 'heh\n' was filtered from efnet, bandwith would decrease 10fold
<nerdy2:#math> can i come
#math> Sounds like nerdy2's got a dominatrix.
*** monochrom has changed the topic on channel #math to nerdy2| apparently the vodka i got has an index of refraction approximately 1.36
"When lawlessness is abroad in the land, the same thing will happen here that happened in Nazi Germany. Many of those people involved in Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals---the two things seem to go together."
-- Pat Robertson, getting the facts wrong
<Hildy:#unix> I was complaining to a friend " is an insensitive bastard" <Hildy:#unix> she asks "what's he done? other than being male?"
<_Anarchy_:#kernel> arjan: BKL kind of. You might want to ask Al Viro that. wait for the shit shit sounds and the patch
<brouwer:#mathdepravity> haha i dont trust paradox. anybody who can do algebra with utter morons for hours on end without annoying himself is not to be trusted
<blueberry:#unix> It's either that, or his penis is so small I can't tell when he gets hard. Anyway.
<blueberry:#unix> xbill: Waxing ass hair?
<walstib:#unix> I HAVE NO MAN TOOL
<blueberry:#unix> #unix has yet *another* postop transsexual.
*** mullein has changed the topic on channel #unix to <josh> I want to sleep late and wake up to expectedly find menno standing over me.
*** ddm has changed the topic on channel #linux to <_pakrat_> BTW, if anyone knows how to apply ipf code to making a baby mulcher, let me know. <vlad1> it might only do it if you have .o's
<cmc:#bsdcode> "I remember the day you were born. I was on IRC, talking with a bunch of FreeBSD hackers about it."
<Snooze:#unix> 12:19am up 932 day(s), 4:11, 1 user, load average: 12.29, 12.19, 12.09
<Snooze:#unix> i think i just crashed this box
<Snooze:#unix> doh i did
<jmd:#unix> from MS support:
<jmd:#unix> SYMPTOMS
<jmd:#unix> When a client uses the telnet utility to connect to port 135 of a computer running Windows NT Server, and then types more
<jmd:#unix> than 10 random characters and disconnects, the server CPU usage jumps to 100 percent and does not come back down until
<jmd:#unix> the server is restarted.
<reeses_:#linux> so, suddenly, in exchange for a donation to the humane society, the armenian goatswool tapestry weavers union bombards you with mail
<jgarzik:#kernel> weird!
<jgarzik:#kernel> I just had ls -l on a local IDE disk hang for 10 seconds, before completing
<jgarzik:#kernel> No other processes running
<jgarzik:#kernel> Was even able to ssh into box, where ps ax showed the ls -l process in disk wait
<blueberry:#unix> <Jenny:#unix> I didn't turn 18 early enough.
<blueberry:#unix> Wish I remember the context
<blueberry:#unix> rage: women fall for him after, like, ten lines of text
* taj:#linux looks at a job at www.lefthandnetworks.com
#linux> lefthandnetworks.com? I'm afraid already, and DalNet probably is, too.
#unix> sigio, convert StromThurmond to homosexuality
<sigio:#unix> xbill: I checked in unittab, but there's no mention of "StromThurmond".
<blueberry:#unix> xbill++
Earlier, when asked `which language do you use for it?' I used to answer `Objective See Ay Em Ell', but people often thought I meant `Objective C', then :-) Now I say `Objective Camel'. It means a bit more to them than just `Oh-Camel'. Unfortunately, they get the impression that it's some obscure object oriented language like Smalltalk now, so I add `a functional language'. When I typed the URL caml.inria.fr into the browser of a British coworker of mine, he pointed at the `fr' part and shouted `NO, NO! UNACCEPTABLE!!' :-)
--- Nils Goesche on caml-list@pauillac.inria.fr
later in that same thread...

Not www.caml.org to my great regret, since the caml.org domain is registered already by the "Cruel Angel Mailing List" (no kidding)...
-- Xavier Leroy
"A modern ninja girl's got more control than that!"
-- Fatal Fury
*** dagbrown has changed the topic on channel #unix to <xbill> FORTRAN more popular than Python: Next on slashdot.
#linux> #ifdef __PERL__ ^J #error "Hmm, let's not say anything so I don't get flamed too hard, but bail out regardless" ^J #endif
<jlbec:#linux> haha
* dj:#linux lol
<deviant-:#unix> given 79 cents, which would you rather have: a taco bell bean burrito, or a share of SGI and 22 cents change?
"The world would be a better place if Larry Wall had been born in Iceland, or any other country where the native language actually has syntax"
-- Peter da Silva
<bright:#bsdcode> penis *** Signoff: craving ()
<Womble> she wants me to drive her around downtown Dallas looking for a vagina piercing and a dildo... whatever happened to a movie and dinner?
<Phaedrus:#linux> 20:30:59 Hawks> but on a fun note, in Don~a Anna county in NM on wednesday the Directory of DUI awareness programs was arrested
<Phaedrus:#linux> for DUI while at the DUI Awareness picnic
<Phaedrus:#linux> 20:31:49 Hawks> she blew a .09 (.08 is dui in nm)..while she was pulled over in the parking lot, a croud gathered to watch
<Phaedrus:#linux> thinking it was a demonstratoin
<klogd:#linux> hmm. ntk has a dancing ballmer mpeg
<basilisk:#linux> klogd: It was on the Register, too, but they said it was his planet of the apes audition
<willy:#kernel> Is there anything intrinsic to ACPI that makes the interpreter be 200k instead of 5k?
<Jes:#kernel> arjan, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
<arjan:#kernel> willy: at least 2 layers of abstraction
<Jes:#kernel> willy, try 300k
* jlbec:#kernel gets the urge to try intermezzo every once in a while, but it usually wears off
#kernel> willy: Intel?
<arjan:#kernel> willy: and all intel code is huge
<arjan:#kernel> willy: e100 sourcecode is like 600Kb
<Tali:#linux> morning clahey
<clahey:#linux> Morning Tali.
*** andre (~andre@65-45-81-178.customer.algx.net) has joined channel #kernel
<willy:#kernel> What I'm wondering is whether it's possible to write a Linux-specific ACPI interpreter that isn't so fucking huge.
<arjan:#kernel> yes
<arjan:#kernel> but you have to include taskfile
<arjan:#kernel> because obviously your NIC wants to write to disk
<_Anarchy_:#kernel> willy: the acpi interpreter design is very complex
<arjan:#kernel> it's full of special namespaces
<arjan:#kernel> maybe we should ask Al to make it into a filesystem
<_Anarchy_:#kernel> willy; part of it is actually a sensible goal of reducing the footprint of the in rom tables
<dbristow:#linux> telsa: cool
<_Anarchy_:#kernel> arjan: I suggested it8)
<riel_:#kernel> arjan: *grin*
* -> #kernel: wli guffaws! =)
<dan`b:#lisp> > I noticed that the vga16 framebuffer driver returns a smem_len of
<dan`b:#lisp> > 65535. Shouldn't that be 65536 ? (Realmode Segment A000-AFFF)
<dan`b:#lisp> >
<dan`b:#lisp> > I already wrote about this to Ben Pfaff , ...
<dan`b:#lisp> Are you sure that shouldn't be Ben Pfb00?
<matju:#lisp> All news sites are equal, but some are more equal than others.
The animals outside looked from Kuro5hin to Slashdot, and from Slashdot to Kuro5hin, and from Kuro5hin to Slashdot again, but it was already impossible to say which was which.
<Aeplus:#lisp> still sounds like yet another compiler compiler ;)
#lisp> Perhaps, but I'm using far more buzzwords, acronyms, and frivolously lofty graph algorithms.
#rdfbot> (query (attribute Geeky ?Who))
<kifbot:#rdfbot> ; Who = wli
<madbomber:#unix> is it just me, or does anyone else not see the sophistication all these reporters are talking about?
<Mike_L:#lisp> hehe http://www.mathnews.uwaterloo.ca/Issues/mn7503/NewCablePackage.html
<Mike_L:#lisp> Arts, entertainment, combinatorics, and optimization; what more could you ask for? A&E&C&O offers it all, from powerful dramas like Law & Ordinary Generating Functions to the stories behind celebrity minimum weight spanning trees on BioGraph Theory.
*** Signoff: dung ()
<Cefarix:#ai> there's no one in #bullshit <Cefarix:#ai> except me <Cefarix:#ai> what's wrong?
<EvilCait:#bsdcode> Gweeds, one of Marcelo's male hacker friends, confirms this. He wants to see more women hackers, and he tells me excitedly about an all-female-authored distribution of the operating system Linux called Cervix.
"I like the idea of Cervix, because it says that girls can do this," he added. "It's like an all-girl band."
Well, I have already enjoyed a few lines of Haskell. But I did not inhale :-)
-- Markus Mottl on caml-list@pauillac.inria.fr
I find hierarchical pagetables offensive.
-- Orran Krieger
<DannyB:#offtopic> how bout we remove X
<DannyB:#offtopic> We could just insert the whole thing into a reiser4 syscall